Monthly Archives: July 2012

alls we can do

Alls we can do is hope people stop saying this.

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one foul swoop

To quickly enter a room, fart, and then leave. Not to be confused with one fowl swoop, which is the codename for a failed US military programme from the 1950s that attempted to breed chickens that would fly over enemy territory and drop explosive eggs. Despite poaching some of the best scientists of the day, the military scrambled to get the programme off the ground. Sure, there was the fact that chickens can’t really fly, and that the explosive eggs were prone to detonate prematurely (leaving more than just egg on people’s faces). The failure of the programme really boiled down to the fact that a bunch of chickens don’t really make great warriors. ¬†The programme was shut down in one fell swoop.


meeryon

Only one thousand thousand.


exspecially

When something wonderful has lost its lustre.


20/20% vision

A fifth of perfect vision? Who has the heart to correct the people who say these things?


110%

Not possible. Please never say this again. If you hear someone say it, tell them they are a fuckwit. At the end of the day I spend my time 24/7 telling people this.


antipasta/antipesto

A lovely ontray to enjoy al fresca and the perfect accompaniment to a big hot mug of expresso.